The Benefits Of A Beginner’s Mind As A Recovering Addict

One of the important mindfulness attitudes that Jon Kabat-Zinn speaks about is the Beginner’s Mind. As a recovering addict, having a beginner’s mind can transform your experience of life outside of rehab.

Our minds have a remarkable ability to build up huge stores of information that we don’t have to consciously access. Without this ability, we would not be able to interact with the world around us. Think about what would happen if you had to actively think about how to swallow every time you ate. You would choke if you ever let your attention wander.

However, clinging to everything we know can also stop us from experiencing life in the present. We see people and situations in the light of how we have experienced them in the past. Instead of living in the present, we play out old scenarios.

As a recovering addict, this can be necessary. We have to know how to avoid triggers and which people might compromise us. But in the same vein, we need to be open to newness if we are to live a life untainted by what has happened to us in the past.

How to access your beginner’s mind

The attitude of beginner’s mind asks you to experience each moment as if for the first time. And, in fact, you are! While you may have interacted with the same people, places and things in the past, you have never lived this moment.

With the attitude of beginner’s mind, you don’t have to forget everything you know. That is impossible and obviously undesirable. However, in environments of which you have no reason to be particularly wary, you can let go of it.

Try and open your eyes to this very moment. Thoughts and feelings will arise. Note them and let them go. Notice any assumptions and judgments you make and let them go. You may feel the urge to accumulate new insights or “make use” of the moment. Try and let that go too. Anything this moment can teach you will still be there in the next.

Beginner’s mind is an incredibly important attitude for recovering addicts, as we tend to see the world outside rehab as a difficult place, with hardship, triggers, and temptations. Opening ourselves up and experiencing this moment for the first time is a big step towards living in a world you can begin to love.

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3 Types Of Breathing To Ground Yourself When In Distress

When you are in alcohol and drug rehab, you learn the importance of breathing. Breathing is something we all do automatically, but when done with intention, it can be used to manage your feelings and cravings.

Breathing has a number of purposes when you are in distress. At its simplest, it is a way of focusing your mind on something fundamental to life. By doing this, you can divert your attention away from distressing thoughts or panic.

But it is not just an exercise in attention. Breathing can ground you, bringing awareness to what is going on in your body without getting swept up in it.

While breathing can be a complex exercise of self-discovery, you can begin with some simple types of breathing just to ground yourself when in distress.

1. Square breathing

Square breathing is an incredibly simple but effective way of grounding yourself. The key with all these exercises is that you do not need to shut your mind off. That is probably not going to help, as the sense of distress will not let up that easily. Simply focusing on a type of breathing gives you an alternative route out of distress.

With square breathing you do the following:

• inhale for a count of 5
• hold for a count of 5
• exhale for a count of 5
• hold for a count of 5
• start again

You can choose to count a different number if you prefer. The key is that you are breathing fully and focusing on keeping it consistent.

2. Diaphragmatic breathing

Diaphragmatic breathing is a type of breathing that changes the source of your breathing. Instead of pulling air in with your nose or mouth, you raise your diaphragm (or abdomen). To exhale, you simply contract your diaphragm again.

Diaphragmatic breathing is useful because it helps you reframe your breath as a function of your body, rather than staying in your head and chest. It also gives the body more power, which is why it is used by singers and in yoga practice.

With a sense of power in your body, you are better able to manage the distressing emotions and feel grounded in yourself.

3. 4-7-8 breathing

4-7-8 breathing is a popular method of breathing that helps with relaxation. It is as simple as it sounds:

• inhale for a count of 4
• hold for a count of 7
• exhale for a count of 8
• start again

Always inhale through your nose. You can exhale through your nose or mouth, depending on what feels more relaxing for you.

Breath work in rehab can be an effective means of self-exploration. But on a simpler level, you can use it as an effective means of calming and grounding yourself when you feel in distress.

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What To Look For In A Sponsor After Alcohol And Drug Rehab

When leaving alcohol and drug rehab, you will be tasked with the responsibility of finding a sponsor. A sponsor will help you maintain your sobriety as you adapt to living in the outside world. To deal effectively with the challenges at hand, it is important to have someone who you can reach out to when you feel like you cannot do it yourself.

But what should you look for in a sponsor after alcohol and drug rehab. This is a person you are entrusting with an incredibly important task. You need to know that they will be the right person when crisis hits.

Everyone needs a sponsor who they can relate to and will click with different types of people. However, a good sponsor generally has the following traits.

They are eager to help

Pop culture has popularized the idea of the reluctant mentor, and this extends into depictions of sponsors on TV and in movies. However, in real life, a sponsor should be someone who wants to be involved in your journey. They should be eager to help, rather than doing so out of a sense of duty or because they have been told to.

This is not necessarily because they will do a better job when push comes to shove, but is more to do with you. You need to feel comfortable calling on them in a crisis, and you will find that hard to do if they don’t seem to want to be involved. You should have a sponsor who you know will be happy to hear from you and eager, even if you need them at a less-than-ideal hour.

They have diverse experiences

Some people want a sponsor who has a similar context to them, whether this is someone of the same gender, sexual orientation, religion, ethnicity, and so on. However, what every sponsor should have in common is a diversity of experience.

No matter how similar your context, you will go through experiences that are unique. You will struggle with thoughts and feelings that are entirely personal. A good sponsor has enough diversity within their own experiences that they can adapt to be there for you no matter what you are going through, even if it is a situation that is entirely your own.

Stability

Having had a certain amount of sober time is important for a sponsor. However, stability is perhaps even more important. Someone may have managed to stay sober for years while always feeling on the verge of relapse. On the other hand, another person may not have been sober as long but have a very strong foundation for their recovery.

This does not mean your sponsor is never going to relapse. That is a possibility for anyone who has battled drug and alcohol addiction. But a good sponsor tends to be confident in their ability to stay clean, as well as their ability to recover even if they do relapse.

No sponsor is going to be perfect, and that is not really what you want from someone you need to be able to relate to. However, that does not mean just anyone can be your sponsor. They are taking on a lot of responsibility, and you need to know you can trust them to be there for you.

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How To Deal With The Anxiety Of Leaving Quarantine

Spending weeks in quarantine was not part of anyone’s plans for 2020. But as stay-at-home orders are lifted, dealing with the anxiety of leaving quarantine might well be something you don’t feel prepared for.

When I got into drug rehab, I wanted to recover and leave as quickly as possible. It was strange to hear so many recovering addicts at the end of their rehab journeys expressing a wish that they could stay a bit longer.

By the time my discharge date arrived, I understood exactly how they felt. Drug rehab was incredibly tough and I missed my regular life. However, the knowledge that I was leaving rehab brought up anxieties about not only my triggers, but getting used to doing things for myself as well.

As quarantine comes to an end, I’m experiencing similar anxieties. I haven’t had to manage many of my triggers in quite a while. And tasks that used to be second nature, like running errands and going grocery shopping, now seem almost overwhelming.

This struggle might be particularly poignant for those of us who have battled addiction and anxiety, but many people are going through it for the first time. The world appears much more difficult to contend when you’ve dealt with such a low level of stimulation for so long.

If you’re worried about dealing with the anxiety of leaving quarantine, here are some tips to help you along the way.

Get help

When you leave drug rehab, you don’t return to complete independence immediately. On the contrary, you start aftercare programs, attend groups and meetings, and see a therapist. There is no reason not to get similar help in today’s scenario.

If you haven’t been seeing a therapist during quarantine, now is a good time to start. It may also be a good idea to start attending support groups and meetings again. Book an appointment with your psychiatrist if you think you might need an adjustment of your anxiety medication.

Keep some quarantine habits

Now that you can leave your home more freely, you might feel like you have to go back to life as normal. The reality is that the world is not yet back to normal, and won’t be for a while. Furthermore, we have learned over the past few months that certain things can be done differently.

You don’t need to go to the grocery store just because you can do so with more freedom now. The extra cash spent on service and delivery costs might well be worth it to avoid a trip that drains time and energy.

If working from home has made your life easier, especially since you don’t have to deal with travel time and other admin, find out whether you can continue working from home some of the time.

COVID-19 is still reason to stay home

Another important factor to take into account is that COVID-19 is not over. If you’re like me, you are not ready to start seeing anyone and everyone again. You are still anxious about your chances of getting the virus. This is not an unreasonable concern, and you should take that into account when saying no to plans.

You might feel guilty about not meeting up with friends and family who don’t take the threat as seriously, but you need to consider both your mental and physical wellbeing. Just like you would be careful about which plans to say yes to after leaving rehab, allow yourself to do the same after quarantine.

Ultimately, the way you approach life after quarantine should not be about anyone but yourself. The anxiety is natural. Get the help you need and take it as slowly as you need to.

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Best Free Addiction Recovery Apps For Mobile

Addiction recovery apps can be an incredible supplement to your recovery journey. Because addiction is a complicated disease, recovery does not end when you leave rehab. On the contrary, rehab is the start of your journey. When you are working through an outpatient program, or are getting back to your regular routine, addiction recovery apps can help you stay sober.

Please note that the following addiction recovery apps are intended as a supplement to a complete treatment program. While they are very helpful to recovering addicts who have left rehab, they are unlikely to help you beat addiction in the first place.

The following are 3 of the best free addiction recovery apps for mobile.

Sober Grid

One of the most important tools for people recovering from addiction is community support. A good community is a significant part of rehab programs, outpatient support, and 12 Step meetings. Sober Grid is an addiction recovery app that provides an extensive virtual community for recovering addicts.

Sober Grid is a kind of social media platform, except it is more similar to chat room apps like Discord than a platform like Facebook or Twitter. On Sober Grid, you can join a number of groups to discuss how you’re feeling. You can get answers to questions which might be nagging you, with advice from peers who have been through or are going through something similar. Simply finding out that you are not alone can be quite helpful and reassuring.

Beyond the community, Sober Grid has tools which prompt you to check in every day with how you are feeling. It gives you space to make a daily pledge for yourself. And every day it provides unique quests that will help you achieve your sobriety goals.

SoberTool

If you want a simple addiction recovery app that tracks your days of sobriety, SoberTool is perfect. SoberTool prompts you with a daily check in. You can track your days of recovery, including any relapses. Not only does it track your recovery itself, but it tracks your moods and feelings as well. This way, it helps you get a better understanding of what incidents and feelings lead to greater urges.

SoberTool gives you motivational messages, along with a search engine for addiction recovery-related questions. There is also a chat function, although it is not as developed as the community provided by Sober Grid. A great additional feature on SoberTool is an activity to help you avoid relapse when triggered, with questions to work through and uplifting messages.

Nomo

Nomo is another simple app that lets you create a number of sober clocks. You can use these to track how long you have been sober, how long a relapse lasts, along with any other habits which threaten your sobriety. It gives you a clear idea of exactly where you are in your journey.

You can share these sober clocks with loved ones, who can then motivate you when you feel at risk of relapse. You can also connect it to your social media in order to share achievements with your network.

Nomo is perfect for anyone who wants an uncomplicated tracker that connects them with their supporters.

All of the above apps are free and allow you to remain completely anonymous. Remember that these apps are supplemental to your recovery and are not a replacement for intensive addiction treatment.

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3 Ways To Make Money With A Criminal Record

I have a criminal record. It took me years to own this fact, but I have never been able to ignore it completely. I’m lucky that it’s just a minor possession charge. During my years of addiction, I did a lot worse than forget to hide the weed in my car, but I never got caught. Many addicts cannot say the same.

It’s no secret that America’s justice system is broken. Most addicts know this, as it is especially evident when it comes to drug use. Drug use is still seen as a moral choice and offenders are punished rather than rehabilitated. Furthermore, while addiction should be seen as a mitigating factor when judging other crimes, it is often used to shine a negative light on the individual.

Of course, we could talk all day about how the justice system discriminates against people on the lines of race and socioeconomic background, but for now I’m going to focus on something that all “offenders” have in common: a criminal record.

A criminal record makes it difficult to find work. Many employers will write applicants off because of their criminal records, regardless of the type of charge. Arrest records can also disadvantage you, even if you were not convicted of anything. It can feel disheartening, as if you’ve been set up to fail. But there are ways to make money regardless of your criminal record.

Here are some possibilities to consider.

Expungement

Before going into the various ways to make money with a criminal record, look into whether you can get your criminal record sealed or expunged. Sealing a criminal record takes it out of public view, but it can still be viewed by court order. Expungement removes all records of arrests or convictions, so that even a court or prosecutor cannot see it.

Sealing and expunging of criminal records is generally possible for minor offenses after a period of time has passed. The Center for American Progress has a helpful guide you can use to determine if you are eligible for sealing or expunging your record.

Skilled labor

Some of the highest paying jobs you can find with a criminal record are those that require skilled labor. These include electrical, plumbing, welding, and carpentry work. Attending a trade school is the ideal way of getting your foot in the door. At a trade school, not only will you learn a skill, but you will also get resources to help you find a job. Trade schools have plenty of experience helping people with criminal records getting jobs after completing a course.

Alternatively, if you have the capital or can get a bank loan, you can start your own business doing skilled handiwork. This way, you have control of your own employment and can set your own rates.

Online freelancing

Online freelancing has become one of the most surefire ways to make money in 2020, even for people without a criminal record. As we have learned this year, the world we live in is not as stable as we thought, and employment at a traditional job can be disrupted by external factors.

If you are able to write, code, design, sing, make music, and more, you can trade your services online. Websites like Upwork and Fiverr provide a platform that connects freelancers and clients. There are also many websites created by successful freelancers who can help you learn to pitch your services without using a platform, allowing you to forego commissions and charge higher rates.

Entrepreneurship

Entrepreneurship is not for everyone. If you urgently need money, starting a business may be far too risky. Furthermore, some personalities are naturally more suited to entrepreneurship, while starting a business is a much more difficult endeavor for others. Also, setting up a business is far easier if you already have a network. Many recovering addicts do not.

However, if you are in a position to start your own business, this can be an incredibly satisfying way of making money. You get to circumvent your criminal record entirely, while working entirely for yourself.

Making money with a criminal record is not easy, but there are options. Ask for help from NGOs and for resources from your rehab center, and you won’t have to go it alone.

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How To Maintain Your Identity Outside Of Rehab

Many people leaving rehab face an unexpected challenge. They finally see that the people who always “had their lives together” are far from perfect. Suddenly they are the ones who have the real problems.

This is because in rehab, you spend weeks or months working on your identity. You don’t just deal with your cravings. Rather, you learn to relate to the world in a brand new way. You learn how to appreciate everything in your life, how to face adversity, and how to better manage your relationships. It’s like you have a whole new identity.

Then, when you go back into the world, everyone else relates to you as the person you used to be. They also relate to the world in unhealthy ways, similar to how you did before.

This is a common experience, and occurs in any number of circumstances. It can be particularly poignant for male addicts. Recovering males often return to friend groups in which speaking about feelings and being vulnerable is seen as shameful.

After spending so much time in a safe space where you could explore your true identity, it becomes difficult to actually maintain that identity. You find yourself holding things back, laughing at jokes which are toxic, and relating to people just like you did before rehab.

The worst part is that it’s not just others who act in these ways. When back in these familiar settings, it is all too easy to revert to the person you used to be without really being aware of it.

It’s not a simple matter, but there are ways to maintain your identity outside of rehab. These tips will give you a starting point.

Avoid spending time in groups

When you leave rehab, your friends might be eager to go out with you. They may even plan some alcohol and substance-free activities. Diving right back in is going to be tempting.

However, try and resist the urge to do so. If you can, avoid going straight back into group settings. It is very difficult to maintain your new identity in your old friend groups. You’re going to want to keep everyone happy rather than relate in a real way. Groups rarely provide the space to be vulnerable and open up. They are more likely to close all avenues to do so.

Ideally, meet up with your friends in a one-on-one setting. This way, you can take the exciting risk of opening up about what you’ve gone through. Eventually, when you do start spending time in groups again, your friends will have had a chance to get to know the identity you’ve discovered.

Aim for “good enough”

In rehab, you learn a lot about how to relate to the world and others in a more authentic way. It is exciting and you have never felt more in tune. When you leave rehab, you will want to use the communication techniques you have learned to interact with others.

Unfortunately, it will not often go as smoothly as you imagined. You will find yourself skipping steps and, in some cases, giving answers that are less than honest.

The thing is that real world interactions don’t go as smoothly as when presented on a worksheet or in rehab. Rehab is a kind of vacuum. The outside world is always throwing complications at you, and you simply cannot and should not plan all your interactions.

Rather than trying for perfection, aim for good enough. Did you manage to express yourself better than you would have before rehab? That’s a great start. If not, you can try a less ambitious approach the next time.

Spend time alone

Humans are social beings. These days, it is tempting to always be speaking to someone, whether in person or over phone or text. But socializing can also be a way of avoiding scary thoughts and feelings. It can end up suppressing your identity.

In order to maintain what you have learned in rehab, you are going to have to regularly spend time alone. Spend this time meditating, doing some exercises, or simply being creative. The details are up to you, but make sure you’re not just turning off your mind.

Maintaining your identity outside of rehab is going to be one of the biggest challenges you face. Spend the necessary time working on yourself, even if it means you can’t be as social as you were before rehab.

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