3 Non-Drug Addictions Which Are Surprisingly Common

Most people think that alcohol and substance abuse are the only real types of addiction. It is hard for them to take any other kinds of addiction seriously. This is especially true of addictions that don’t involve your body in any direct way. After all, we have learned to think about addiction in terms of physical dependence.

However, there are more types of addiction that don’t involve alcohol or substances than you think. And they’re not rare. Millions of people suffer from the kinds of addictions we are going to list.

Before we get started, it is important that we understand the line at which we can begin to call something an addiction. An addiction is something that you do in order to cope in day-to-day life, that you continue doing even though it is harmful to yourself and others, and that eventually makes it difficult for you to function normally.

1. Gambling addiction

It took a while for professionals to get on board with the concept of a gambling addiction, but with millions of people struggling each year, its status has become indisputable.

Gambling addiction ticks all the boxes. People engage in gambling to cope with difficult emotions, including the fear of financial failure. And while it might seem like a viable way of making money, it usually becomes clear after a number of losses that winning in the long run is almost impossible.

Still, a person with a gambling addiction continues to gamble in spite of the harm, losing money that would otherwise have gone towards paying important bills and taking care of loved ones. Eventually, their addiction causes them to miss work and social events, lie and manipulate, and struggle to function on a daily basis.

It has recently been discovered that gambling in fact rewires a person’s brain in a similar way to illegal drugs.

2. Porn addiction

The advent of the Internet has had many consequences, but one of the most significant is the abundant access the average person has to pornography. Whereas in the past, one would have to buy or rent magazines and videos, today all it takes is a Google search to find endless free content.

Pornography is not inherently a bad thing. It can be used responsibly to indulge healthy fantasies, even within a relationship. However, people battling porn addiction have increasingly seen how it can cause tremendous harm to themselves and others.

Some people watch porn as a way to cope with difficult emotions. This can be useful, but when it becomes a regular coping mechanism, it can lead to addiction. After some time, the person is no longer able to cope without watching porn.

This behavior leads to negative consequences, such as spending money one does not have on access to porn sites and webcam platforms, as well as watching porn in inappropriate contexts in spite of the risk of getting caught. This sometimes leads to loss of jobs and opportunities.

It can also negatively affect relationships, when the addicted individual watches porn instead of having sex with their partner. They start to engage in behaviors like lying and manipulation that make it difficult to function in work, school, and social contexts.

3. Shopping addiction

For most people, shopping is simply a normal part of day-to-day living. You need to acquire goods to survive, and occasionally splash out on indulgences. However, for people struggling with shopping addiction, it can become incredibly harmful.

A person struggling with a shopping addiction buys items impulsively and compulsively. They may not think about potential financial consequences, or buy these items despite knowing it will have severe financial consequences.

Shopping addiction comes about when shopping is used as a way of avoiding dealing with strong emotions. The term “retail therapy” has been used to describe the phenomenon, but considering how it can become a harmful addiction, the term therapy is misplaced.

As with other addictions, shopping addiction leads to behaviors such as lying and manipulating, and theft. It causes rifts in relationships, legal trouble, job loss, and a range of other difficulties that interrupts healthy day-to-day functioning.

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3 Red Flags For Recovering Addicts In New Relationships

It’s no secret that addiction plays havoc in relationships. Families are torn apart, while romantic partners are betrayed or let down. There is a reason most recovering addicts in new relationships fear it all going wrong.

When you start dating again, it is all too easy to repeat old patterns. You’ve spent years learning to lie and conceal the truth. Codependency may have become your second language. In theory, your fears should protect you from getting stuck in the same situation.

Unfortunately, one of the things recovering addicts tend to do is assume responsibility for everything wrong in their relationship. If your partner isn’t communicating with you, you assume it’s because you still lie too much. If they don’t trust you, you assume it’s because of behaviors you learned as an addict.

It can be hard to differentiate truly problematic relationships from leftover habits you can work on. However, there are some red flags which should indicate to any recovering addict that their new relationship is unhealthy.

1. You fear them

On the one hand, this might seem obvious. If you are afraid your partner might abuse you physically or emotionally, you should get help immediately. However, there are other types of fears that are not so obvious.

For example, you may be scared that if you say the “wrong” thing, or make a mistake, your partner will leave you. Try to determine whether your fear is based on actual events or is something you have learned in other relationships.

Try speaking to them openly. A healthy relationship cannot survive if you are living in fear of them leaving you. If it turns out that they do expect compliance or perfection, you should consider getting out of the relationship.

2. They don’t take your addiction seriously.

When a romantic partner does not take your addiction seriously, it raises a whole lot of red flags. Of course, there’s the possibility they might reintroduce substances into your life. But beyond that, there is the simple fact that they are downplaying your most personal experiences.

Some people are simply ignorant about addiction, and you can explain it to them. However, if they still downplay it or speak about it as a moral failing, they are showing you that they don’t respect your struggles and achievements.

3. They try to control you

While some romantic partners might not take your addiction seriously, others might take it too seriously. Certain people are not comfortable with the possibility that you could relapse, as they are used to having control of their lives. They therefore try to control you.

The reason many recovering addicts miss this red flag is that the person seems to have their best interests at heart. They just want you to be healthy and substance-free. Nonetheless, regardless of their intentions, this kind of behavior will make you feel patronized and you may act out.

A romantic partner should be there to support you, taking your addiction seriously while being your biggest cheerleader. Someone who tries to control you is doing the opposite – they are attempting to take away your agency, giving the impression that they don’t trust you to take care of yourself.

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Tips For Speaking To Your Kids About Your Addiction

I’ve known many parents who struggle with addiction who have tried to keep their kids out of the loop. The logic may seem sound to you: young children in particular can’t understand addiction, and parents need to retain some level of authority over their kids. Explaining your addiction to your kids is a frightening idea, as they may start seeing you as flawed.

However, whether you like it or not, your kids know about your addiction. Even if they have never seen you use alcohol or drugs, they can sense that there is something wrong. Your behavior while on substances is more alarming to them than the knowledge that you are actually using substances.

In other words, you can’t afford not to speak to your kids about your addiction. Here’s what you need to know in order to communicate your illness effectively.

Families need help

Before talking to your kids about your addiction, it might be worthwhile considering whether your family needs more than that. Addiction impacts families in significant ways. People who struggle with addiction develop codependent relationships, raise parentified children, and introduce a certain level of dysfunction into the home.

Family therapy may be necessary for your family to recover. In addition to private therapy with an expert, 12 Step Programs offer groups such as AlAnon and NarcAnon which specifically cater to the families of recovering addicts. In this safe space, the family can speak about their experiences, feelings, and resentments with people who understand them, and without feeling like they have to tiptoe around the recovering addict’s emotions.

Introducing the subject

Simply telling your kids that you or your partner are addicted to substances is not going to go down well. Even if they are in their teens, they will not have enough context to understand addiction. Most adults who have not experienced addiction first-hand do not understand it.

Introduce the subject by asking them about what might be bothering them at home. Relate their personal experience to your addiction. Explain that your behavior has not been acceptable, and that it has been caused by addiction.

Take responsibility

Addiction is an illness and you no longer have control. You need to share this with your children, so that they know you are not a bad person and that you would have never otherwise hurt them.

However, beyond this truth, using excuses will at best make them feel neglected, and at worst make them feel like they are the cause of the problem.

When discussing your addiction, you do not want to give your kids the impression that you are not really sorry. Yes, you have a disease, but you need to take responsibility as well, otherwise you are giving them the message that you are not hurting for how your actions have hurt them.

If you go further and start giving them specific reasons for why you used drugs or alcohol, you can give them the impression that it is actually their fault. By explaining that you have been stressed and working hard in order to make ends meet, take care of them, or trying to stay happy for them, they hear that, without them, you would never have had the problem.

Take full responsibility for your actions. You can explain that addiction is an illness, and that you never wanted to harm them. But leave the excuses out. Your initial conversations should revolve around their wellbeing, not your own.

It is okay if they feel anger and resentment towards you for now. It will take time to repair the relationship, but with patience it will happen.

Don’t Euphemise

Euphemisms are useful when talking about your sex life with your grandparents. But when you are speaking to your kids about addiction, euphemisms only make it harder for them to discuss it openly.

It’s not only about the words, although knowing the terminology will help them in the long run. It is about not associating shame with these conversations. If you speak around the topic, they get the impression that this is something they shouldn’t talk about, something which is very shaming, even if you tell them they should talk about it with you.

Be open, even if you feel like children shouldn’t have to know the details of your addiction. They already do on some level, and need the sense that they have been given permission to process.

Nurture and soothe

Your focus when speaking about your addiction with your kids should be on their wellbeing. With this in mind, you need to spend some time nurturing and soothing them.

Nurturing includes affirming that they have not done anything wrong. That this situation has been unfair to them and that you love them.

Soothing includes telling them that everything is going to be alright. You are going to get better and life at home is going to go back to normal and, in fact, be better than ever. This is another way of taking responsibility for your actions, as only you can commit to making this happen.

An objective listener

Finally, it is important that your kids know they have someone else to talk to. Someone who they can confide in who is not one of their parents. No matter how careful you have been to approach the subject with openness and sensitivity, they may still be scared of hurting your feelings.

They may also be aware that you are in recovery, and even though you have told them that none of this is their fault, they may feel a responsibility towards you (especially if you have a codependent relationship). They may therefore keep things from you because they are scared they will set back your recovery.

Your addiction is not an easy subject to broach with your kids. However, they already know about it on some level. By being honest, giving them space to share, and giving them the resources to speak about it, you are taking the first steps towards healing your family.

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