Everything You Need To Know About Addiction

Over 20 million Americans have at least one addiction. It is so common that almost everyone is either struggling with addiction or knows someone who is struggling with addiction. Yet in spite of addiction being so widespread, it is still treated as taboo and misinformation is rife.

The most common misconception is that addiction is a character flaw, rather than an illness like any other. People struggling with addiction are scared to talk about it and feel too much shame to ask for help. This leads to the troubling reality that only 10% of addicts receive treatment for it.

If we are to help ourselves and others beat addiction, it is important to clarify exactly what addiction is, who can become addicted to substances, and how we can treat it.

What is addiction?

Addiction refers to dependence on a substance or behavior. This dependence may be physical, emotional or, most often, both. Addiction occurs when a person experiences urges to use the substance or behavior that make it difficult or impossible to function normally on a day-to-day basis.

Most importantly, addiction is a mental illness. Contrary to the anachronistic belief, addiction is not simply a lack of willpower. You can’t “just say no,” and the idea that you can does nothing but downplay the seriousness of addiction.

How does addiction start?

Addiction can start through physical or mental means. Some people start using substances or addictive behaviors to numb or distract themselves from physiological or emotional pain. In these cases, the mental struggles come before the physical dependence.

Others start using substances in a recreational manner, which leads to physical and emotional dependence. Once the dependence develops, coping mechanisms which used to be strong are weakened and, even without the physical urges, the person turns to substances to cope.

What are the different types of addiction?

The most common addiction is alcoholism. Alcohol is easily accessible and alcohol use is socially acceptable. While alcohol can be enjoyed in moderation, alcohol abuse can quickly become a pattern.

Drug addiction is also extremely common. This includes illegal drugs such as cocaine and heroin, as well as legal, prescription drugs, such as benzodiazepines (tranquilizers) and opioid painkillers which are incredibly addictive.

There are a number of behavioral addictions, including gambling addiction, porn addiction, and shopping addiction. While these addictions are not generally considered to be physical addictions, they have similar effects on the brain as addictive substances.

There are also some “acceptable” addictions. These include smoking and caffeine addiction. It is possible to function normally while addicted to nicotine or caffeine, although it can have harmful and even fatal effects on your body.

Who can become addicted?

“When I got to rehab, I couldn’t believe how low I had fallen. Was I really like these other people?”

“I’m not a criminal or lowlife. How did I end up becoming a junkie?”

The above sentiments are shared by many people who become addicted to substances or behaviors. Because of an archaic way of thinking about addiction as a character flaw, many individuals struggle to see themselves as addicts. They think that they are “better” than that.

However, no one chooses to become addicted and everyone is susceptible. If you are struggling with mental health issues, you may turn to substances to help you cope. If you use alcohol and substances recreationally, you could become physically addicted before you know it. And, if a doctor prescribes addictive painkillers for you, you can become addicted despite having stayed away from alcohol and illegal substances.

One of the most important aspects of rehab is meeting other people who are struggling with addiction. You find that they are stronger than you expected. That they are sensitive people who want more for themselves and their loved ones.

And in seeing the good in them, you begin to see the good in yourself.

How is addiction treated?

Addiction is notoriously complex to treat and relapse is common. However, this does not mean that treatment is ever pointless or that success can only be measured over a lifetime. On the contrary, like any other illness, you can only appreciate achievements in the present. Future complications cannot negate today’s wellness.

There are a number of components to addiction treatment.

Detox

When a person is addicted to substances, they will need to detox before attempting any other treatments. Addiction causes your body to become dependent on the substance. It is incredibly difficult to stop on your own, and can be very dangerous.

Drug and alcohol detox should be done in an environment in which medical help is readily available. The individual should be monitored throughout, as the body struggles to adapt to functioning substance-free.

After detox is completed, you may still experience cravings for the substance, but your body will make do without it.

Inpatient rehab

Inpatient rehab is the gold standard for addiction treatment. Inpatient rehab is important because it takes the person away from the triggers in their life and makes it difficult if not impossible to get access to substances.

It also gives the person space to deal with their addiction away from their normal day-to-day duties and responsibilities. They get the time to focus solely on their health.

Inpatient rehab includes a range of different treatments, including non-addictive medications, individual and group therapy, family therapy, meditation, alternative holistic treatments, and more.

Addiction treatment is not a one-size-fits-all matter, and different approaches work for different people. While one or more of the available therapies in rehab may not be ideal for an individual, others certainly will.

Outpatient treatment

Addiction treatment does not end after rehab. Rather, the person continues to receive outpatient treatment. This may include individual and group therapy, support groups, sober coaching, psychiatry, and more.

As effective as rehab has been for the individual, it can only go so far as to prepare them for sober living in the real world. Outpatient treatment ensures they continue to get support as they adapt to getting back to normal day-to-day life.

The outlook

Addiction can have a devastating effect on a person’s life. Before treatment, many addicts feel incredibly helpless. However, addiction treatment is evolving every day, and the outlook is more positive than ever before.

Just as there is no one-size-fits-all approach to treatment, there is no one timeline for recovery. Everyone experiences the process according to their own circumstances.

It is important to remember that relapse does not negate previous success. In the same way that a recurrence of a cancer cannot retroactively destroy healthy and happy months and years, a relapse cannot retroactively taint happy, sober days, weeks, months, or years.

Addiction is more common that most people think. We need to start thinking about it as an illness rather than a character flaw, while dispelling many of the misconceptions, if more people are to get treatment.

References:

 

1. National Institute on Drug Abuse. (2017). Trends & Statistics.
2. Hasin DS, Fenton MC, Beseler C, Park JY, Wall MM. Analyses related to the development of DSM-5 criteria for substance use related disorders: 2. Proposed DSM-5 criteria for alcohol, cannabis, cocaine and heroin disorders in 663 substance abuse patients. Drug Alcohol Depend. 2012;122:28–37.
3. CHANG, G., AND KOSTEN, T.R. Detoxification. In: Lowinson, J.H.; Ruiz, P.; Millman, R.B.; and Langrod, J.G., eds., Substance Abuse: A Comprehensive Textbook. 3d ed. Baltimore: Williams and Wilkins, 1997. pp. 377–381.
4. Taylor & Francis. 2020. Psychosocial Occupational Therapy Interventions For Substance-Use Disorders: A Narrative Review.
5. Boisvert, R.A., Martin, L.M., Grosek, M. and Clarie, A.J. (2008), Effectiveness of a peer‐support community in addiction recovery: participation as intervention. Occup. Ther. Int., 15: 205-220. doi:10.1002/oti.257
6. McGovern, M., Xie, H., Segal, S., Siembab, L. and Drake, R., 2006. Addiction treatment services and co-occurring disorders: Prevalence estimates, treatment practices, and barriers. Journal of Substance Abuse Treatment, 31(3), pp.267-275.
7.  Center for Substance Abuse Treatment. Substance Abuse: Clinical Issues in Intensive Outpatient Treatment. Rockville (MD): Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (US); 2006. (Treatment Improvement Protocol (TIP) Series, No. 47.) Chapter 4. Services in Intensive Outpatient Treatment Programs. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK64094/

 

The post Everything You Need To Know About Addiction appeared first on Serenity Malibu.

source https://www.serenitymaliburehab.com/everything-you-need-to-know-about-addiction/

3 Non-Drug Addictions Which Are Surprisingly Common

Most people think that alcohol and substance abuse are the only real types of addiction. It is hard for them to take any other kinds of addiction seriously. This is especially true of addictions that don’t involve your body in any direct way. After all, we have learned to think about addiction in terms of physical dependence.

However, there are more types of addiction that don’t involve alcohol or substances than you think. And they’re not rare. Millions of people suffer from the kinds of addictions we are going to list.

Before we get started, it is important that we understand the line at which we can begin to call something an addiction. An addiction is something that you do in order to cope in day-to-day life, that you continue doing even though it is harmful to yourself and others, and that eventually makes it difficult for you to function normally.

1. Gambling addiction

It took a while for professionals to get on board with the concept of a gambling addiction, but with millions of people struggling each year, its status has become indisputable.

Gambling addiction ticks all the boxes. People engage in gambling to cope with difficult emotions, including the fear of financial failure. And while it might seem like a viable way of making money, it usually becomes clear after a number of losses that winning in the long run is almost impossible.

Still, a person with a gambling addiction continues to gamble in spite of the harm, losing money that would otherwise have gone towards paying important bills and taking care of loved ones. Eventually, their addiction causes them to miss work and social events, lie and manipulate, and struggle to function on a daily basis.

It has recently been discovered that gambling in fact rewires a person’s brain in a similar way to illegal drugs.

2. Porn addiction

The advent of the Internet has had many consequences, but one of the most significant is the abundant access the average person has to pornography. Whereas in the past, one would have to buy or rent magazines and videos, today all it takes is a Google search to find endless free content.

Pornography is not inherently a bad thing. It can be used responsibly to indulge healthy fantasies, even within a relationship. However, people battling porn addiction have increasingly seen how it can cause tremendous harm to themselves and others.

Some people watch porn as a way to cope with difficult emotions. This can be useful, but when it becomes a regular coping mechanism, it can lead to addiction. After some time, the person is no longer able to cope without watching porn.

This behavior leads to negative consequences, such as spending money one does not have on access to porn sites and webcam platforms, as well as watching porn in inappropriate contexts in spite of the risk of getting caught. This sometimes leads to loss of jobs and opportunities.

It can also negatively affect relationships, when the addicted individual watches porn instead of having sex with their partner. They start to engage in behaviors like lying and manipulation that make it difficult to function in work, school, and social contexts.

3. Shopping addiction

For most people, shopping is simply a normal part of day-to-day living. You need to acquire goods to survive, and occasionally splash out on indulgences. However, for people struggling with shopping addiction, it can become incredibly harmful.

A person struggling with a shopping addiction buys items impulsively and compulsively. They may not think about potential financial consequences, or buy these items despite knowing it will have severe financial consequences.

Shopping addiction comes about when shopping is used as a way of avoiding dealing with strong emotions. The term “retail therapy” has been used to describe the phenomenon, but considering how it can become a harmful addiction, the term therapy is misplaced.

As with other addictions, shopping addiction leads to behaviors such as lying and manipulating, and theft. It causes rifts in relationships, legal trouble, job loss, and a range of other difficulties that interrupts healthy day-to-day functioning.

The post 3 Non-Drug Addictions Which Are Surprisingly Common appeared first on Serenity Malibu.

source https://www.serenitymaliburehab.com/3-non-drug-addictions-which-are-surprisingly-common/

3 Red Flags For Recovering Addicts In New Relationships

It’s no secret that addiction plays havoc in relationships. Families are torn apart, while romantic partners are betrayed or let down. There is a reason most recovering addicts in new relationships fear it all going wrong.

When you start dating again, it is all too easy to repeat old patterns. You’ve spent years learning to lie and conceal the truth. Codependency may have become your second language. In theory, your fears should protect you from getting stuck in the same situation.

Unfortunately, one of the things recovering addicts tend to do is assume responsibility for everything wrong in their relationship. If your partner isn’t communicating with you, you assume it’s because you still lie too much. If they don’t trust you, you assume it’s because of behaviors you learned as an addict.

It can be hard to differentiate truly problematic relationships from leftover habits you can work on. However, there are some red flags which should indicate to any recovering addict that their new relationship is unhealthy.

1. You fear them

On the one hand, this might seem obvious. If you are afraid your partner might abuse you physically or emotionally, you should get help immediately. However, there are other types of fears that are not so obvious.

For example, you may be scared that if you say the “wrong” thing, or make a mistake, your partner will leave you. Try to determine whether your fear is based on actual events or is something you have learned in other relationships.

Try speaking to them openly. A healthy relationship cannot survive if you are living in fear of them leaving you. If it turns out that they do expect compliance or perfection, you should consider getting out of the relationship.

2. They don’t take your addiction seriously.

When a romantic partner does not take your addiction seriously, it raises a whole lot of red flags. Of course, there’s the possibility they might reintroduce substances into your life. But beyond that, there is the simple fact that they are downplaying your most personal experiences.

Some people are simply ignorant about addiction, and you can explain it to them. However, if they still downplay it or speak about it as a moral failing, they are showing you that they don’t respect your struggles and achievements.

3. They try to control you

While some romantic partners might not take your addiction seriously, others might take it too seriously. Certain people are not comfortable with the possibility that you could relapse, as they are used to having control of their lives. They therefore try to control you.

The reason many recovering addicts miss this red flag is that the person seems to have their best interests at heart. They just want you to be healthy and substance-free. Nonetheless, regardless of their intentions, this kind of behavior will make you feel patronized and you may act out.

A romantic partner should be there to support you, taking your addiction seriously while being your biggest cheerleader. Someone who tries to control you is doing the opposite – they are attempting to take away your agency, giving the impression that they don’t trust you to take care of yourself.

The post 3 Red Flags For Recovering Addicts In New Relationships appeared first on Serenity Malibu.

source https://www.serenitymaliburehab.com/3-red-flags-for-recovering-addicts-in-new-relationships/

Tips For Speaking To Your Kids About Your Addiction

I’ve known many parents who struggle with addiction who have tried to keep their kids out of the loop. The logic may seem sound to you: young children in particular can’t understand addiction, and parents need to retain some level of authority over their kids. Explaining your addiction to your kids is a frightening idea, as they may start seeing you as flawed.

However, whether you like it or not, your kids know about your addiction. Even if they have never seen you use alcohol or drugs, they can sense that there is something wrong. Your behavior while on substances is more alarming to them than the knowledge that you are actually using substances.

In other words, you can’t afford not to speak to your kids about your addiction. Here’s what you need to know in order to communicate your illness effectively.

Families need help

Before talking to your kids about your addiction, it might be worthwhile considering whether your family needs more than that. Addiction impacts families in significant ways. People who struggle with addiction develop codependent relationships, raise parentified children, and introduce a certain level of dysfunction into the home.

Family therapy may be necessary for your family to recover. In addition to private therapy with an expert, 12 Step Programs offer groups such as AlAnon and NarcAnon which specifically cater to the families of recovering addicts. In this safe space, the family can speak about their experiences, feelings, and resentments with people who understand them, and without feeling like they have to tiptoe around the recovering addict’s emotions.

Introducing the subject

Simply telling your kids that you or your partner are addicted to substances is not going to go down well. Even if they are in their teens, they will not have enough context to understand addiction. Most adults who have not experienced addiction first-hand do not understand it.

Introduce the subject by asking them about what might be bothering them at home. Relate their personal experience to your addiction. Explain that your behavior has not been acceptable, and that it has been caused by addiction.

Take responsibility

Addiction is an illness and you no longer have control. You need to share this with your children, so that they know you are not a bad person and that you would have never otherwise hurt them.

However, beyond this truth, using excuses will at best make them feel neglected, and at worst make them feel like they are the cause of the problem.

When discussing your addiction, you do not want to give your kids the impression that you are not really sorry. Yes, you have a disease, but you need to take responsibility as well, otherwise you are giving them the message that you are not hurting for how your actions have hurt them.

If you go further and start giving them specific reasons for why you used drugs or alcohol, you can give them the impression that it is actually their fault. By explaining that you have been stressed and working hard in order to make ends meet, take care of them, or trying to stay happy for them, they hear that, without them, you would never have had the problem.

Take full responsibility for your actions. You can explain that addiction is an illness, and that you never wanted to harm them. But leave the excuses out. Your initial conversations should revolve around their wellbeing, not your own.

It is okay if they feel anger and resentment towards you for now. It will take time to repair the relationship, but with patience it will happen.

Don’t Euphemise

Euphemisms are useful when talking about your sex life with your grandparents. But when you are speaking to your kids about addiction, euphemisms only make it harder for them to discuss it openly.

It’s not only about the words, although knowing the terminology will help them in the long run. It is about not associating shame with these conversations. If you speak around the topic, they get the impression that this is something they shouldn’t talk about, something which is very shaming, even if you tell them they should talk about it with you.

Be open, even if you feel like children shouldn’t have to know the details of your addiction. They already do on some level, and need the sense that they have been given permission to process.

Nurture and soothe

Your focus when speaking about your addiction with your kids should be on their wellbeing. With this in mind, you need to spend some time nurturing and soothing them.

Nurturing includes affirming that they have not done anything wrong. That this situation has been unfair to them and that you love them.

Soothing includes telling them that everything is going to be alright. You are going to get better and life at home is going to go back to normal and, in fact, be better than ever. This is another way of taking responsibility for your actions, as only you can commit to making this happen.

An objective listener

Finally, it is important that your kids know they have someone else to talk to. Someone who they can confide in who is not one of their parents. No matter how careful you have been to approach the subject with openness and sensitivity, they may still be scared of hurting your feelings.

They may also be aware that you are in recovery, and even though you have told them that none of this is their fault, they may feel a responsibility towards you (especially if you have a codependent relationship). They may therefore keep things from you because they are scared they will set back your recovery.

Your addiction is not an easy subject to broach with your kids. However, they already know about it on some level. By being honest, giving them space to share, and giving them the resources to speak about it, you are taking the first steps towards healing your family.

The post Tips For Speaking To Your Kids About Your Addiction appeared first on Serenity Malibu.

source https://www.serenitymaliburehab.com/tips-for-speaking-to-your-kids-about-your-addiction/

How To Use The Senses To Ground Yourself In Recovery

Recovering addicts tend to struggle to stay grounded and present. We obsess over the mistakes of the past and the potential catastrophes in the future. During recovery, one of the most important lessons is to live “just for today.”

Living in the present is so important because it is impossible to recover in anything but the present. All too often, we try to find a way to recover with the assurance that we will never relapse. It is as if a future relapse would negate whatever we do in the present.

But knowing the future is impossible, and so is erasing the past, which is why it is so important to learn to ground yourself in the present when recovering.

The good news is that, at any time, you can use your five main senses to ground yourself in the present.

Circumventing your mind’s brilliance

The human mind is truly brilliant. It provides us with the power of abstract thought, complex reasoning, and language. But its brilliance is not only cognitive. It also does the job of organizing all of the sensory input.

At every moment, your senses are receiving a huge amount of data. Your mind needs to take this data and make sense of it, using shortcuts that help you differentiate the sound of a bird from the sound of the wind it floats upon, the image of a person from the image of the room they stand in.

We could not function without this. Unfortunately, this also makes it difficult for us to experience the moment without preconceived judgements.

This is why we need to tune into the senses as they are in order to ground ourselves in the present moment.

Using the senses

Using the senses is really very simple. All you have to do is focus on any one of the five main senses. Take a moment to feel the air on your skin or to listen to the sounds around you. But while it is simple, it is far from easy. We are so used to interpreting the input of the senses that we don’t take the time to appreciate it for what it is.

Using the senses to ground yourself can be done at any time, but it requires practice. Set aside some time to simply experience the input of one of your senses. Put some music on and listen to a song in its entirety, simply hearing rather than thinking about it. Eat a snack and focus on the taste rather than thinking about the next bite.

With some practice, using the senses to ground yourself can become one of the most effective tools in living “just for today.”

The post How To Use The Senses To Ground Yourself In Recovery appeared first on Serenity Malibu.

source https://www.serenitymaliburehab.com/how-to-use-the-senses-to-ground-yourself-in-recovery/

5 Ways To Prevent Bad Dreams As A Recovering Addict

Many recovering addicts struggle every night with bad dreams and nightmares. There are a number of reasons for this. Some of us are battling post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and dream about the traumas we went through. For others, including me, bad dreams are a side effect of psychiatric medication.

The dreams that I have every single night can be more complex than any twisted TV show or movie I’ve ever seen. They are troubling in various ways, whether because they bring up childhood issues or because I’m being chased by a monster. They can really affect my day.

One of the biggest problems with dreams is that, because you are sleeping, you cannot implement the strategies you have learned for dealing with triggers. However, there are ways to soften or prevent bad dreams as a recovering addict.

1. Rewrite the narrative

If you have relatively straightforward dreams, you can use this strategy to dull their blow. Take the narrative of your dream and rewrite it. For example, maybe you dreamed about starting an important exam and realizing you knew none of the answers. Rewrite the dream with a positive ending and visualize it this way. This may help you leave the difficult emotions connected to the dream behind.

Of course, more complex dreams cannot be rewritten this easily. Try to prevent the dreams by doing the following.

2. Use herbal remedies

There are certain herbal remedies that help people sleep more peacefully and prevent bad dreams. Try the following:

• use a lavender-scented cream on your skin
• drink chamomile tea at night
• take valerian root supplements

3. Listen to sleep sounds

Apps like Headspace and Calm have sleep sounds or music that can play as you fall asleep or through the whole night. Anecdotal evidence indicates that these sounds can improve your sleep quality by preventing bad dreams.

4. Discuss it in therapy

Bad dreams don’t come from nowhere. Although you may feel calm during the day, bad dreams are often triggered by stress and anxiety that you avoid consciously thinking about. For this reason, discussing your bad dreams in therapy can help in more ways than one. Externalizing your dreams this way can help you disconnect from them. It can also help you figure out what is really causing you stress and anxiety, adding to the therapeutic process and giving you the chance to work on it during your waking hours.

5. Take a break

If you wake up in the middle of the night, disturbed by a dream or series of dreams, take a short “break” from sleep. Move from your bed to the couch for a few minutes or listen to soothing sounds. This can help you disconnect from your bad dreams and go back to sleep with a clear head.

The post 5 Ways To Prevent Bad Dreams As A Recovering Addict appeared first on Serenity Malibu.

source https://www.serenitymaliburehab.com/5-ways-to-prevent-bad-dreams-as-a-recovering-addict/

Why You Need To Leave Your Narratives Behind

When I started my addiction recovery, I was enamored by everything I was learning about myself. I learned that my parents’ own addictions had led to my abandonment issues. I learned that in becoming a parentified child, I had developed the need to control everything. There was so much more. It was like reading a very interesting book about myself.

This led me to believe that I needed to address all these narratives. If I wanted to live life differently, I needed to work through them and replace them with new narratives. And while this exercise did help in some ways, it was ultimately a red herring.

It is important to understand your narratives to give context to your addiction. You need to be able to recognize your narratives so that you don’t get caught up in them over and over again. But while working with your narratives might help you avoid past mistakes, it won’t help you move forward all that much.

Behind the narratives

One of Albert Einstein’s most famous quotes states that “you can’t solve a problem with the same thinking that created it.” When it comes to addiction, this is so poignant and relevant.

We create narratives for one major reason: to deal with feelings that seem unmanageable. Changing the narratives will not get rid of the feelings. Nor should it.

Feelings are part of a healthy existence. Even the ones that seem unhealthy – guilt, shame, anxiety – only become problematic when we try to get rid of them.

The key to moving on is recognizing that those emotions are both par for the course and only temporary. If we feel them and let them go, they will disappear. They will come around again, and we will manage them again in the same way.

It is for this reason that the 12 Steps don’t mention those narratives. The 12 Steps are about breaking the cycle of your past, and starting a practice that will take you into a healthy future.

Moving on

Many recovering addicts struggle with this idea that they are broken. They have suffered through so many trials and have done so much they want to forget. It seems like they can never work through it all.

But no person is broken. You are as whole as anyone else in this world. No matter what you have been through, you are a feeling human being, living a life that is inherently meaningful.

The post Why You Need To Leave Your Narratives Behind appeared first on Serenity Malibu.

source https://www.serenitymaliburehab.com/why-you-need-to-leave-your-narratives-behind/

The Benefits Of A Beginner’s Mind As A Recovering Addict

One of the important mindfulness attitudes that Jon Kabat-Zinn speaks about is the Beginner’s Mind. As a recovering addict, having a beginner’s mind can transform your experience of life outside of rehab.

Our minds have a remarkable ability to build up huge stores of information that we don’t have to consciously access. Without this ability, we would not be able to interact with the world around us. Think about what would happen if you had to actively think about how to swallow every time you ate. You would choke if you ever let your attention wander.

However, clinging to everything we know can also stop us from experiencing life in the present. We see people and situations in the light of how we have experienced them in the past. Instead of living in the present, we play out old scenarios.

As a recovering addict, this can be necessary. We have to know how to avoid triggers and which people might compromise us. But in the same vein, we need to be open to newness if we are to live a life untainted by what has happened to us in the past.

How to access your beginner’s mind

The attitude of beginner’s mind asks you to experience each moment as if for the first time. And, in fact, you are! While you may have interacted with the same people, places and things in the past, you have never lived this moment.

With the attitude of beginner’s mind, you don’t have to forget everything you know. That is impossible and obviously undesirable. However, in environments of which you have no reason to be particularly wary, you can let go of it.

Try and open your eyes to this very moment. Thoughts and feelings will arise. Note them and let them go. Notice any assumptions and judgments you make and let them go. You may feel the urge to accumulate new insights or “make use” of the moment. Try and let that go too. Anything this moment can teach you will still be there in the next.

Beginner’s mind is an incredibly important attitude for recovering addicts, as we tend to see the world outside rehab as a difficult place, with hardship, triggers, and temptations. Opening ourselves up and experiencing this moment for the first time is a big step towards living in a world you can begin to love.

The post The Benefits Of A Beginner’s Mind As A Recovering Addict appeared first on Serenity Malibu.

source https://www.serenitymaliburehab.com/the-benefits-of-a-beginners-mind-as-a-recovering-addict/

3 Types Of Breathing To Ground Yourself When In Distress

When you are in alcohol and drug rehab, you learn the importance of breathing. Breathing is something we all do automatically, but when done with intention, it can be used to manage your feelings and cravings.

Breathing has a number of purposes when you are in distress. At its simplest, it is a way of focusing your mind on something fundamental to life. By doing this, you can divert your attention away from distressing thoughts or panic.

But it is not just an exercise in attention. Breathing can ground you, bringing awareness to what is going on in your body without getting swept up in it.

While breathing can be a complex exercise of self-discovery, you can begin with some simple types of breathing just to ground yourself when in distress.

1. Square breathing

Square breathing is an incredibly simple but effective way of grounding yourself. The key with all these exercises is that you do not need to shut your mind off. That is probably not going to help, as the sense of distress will not let up that easily. Simply focusing on a type of breathing gives you an alternative route out of distress.

With square breathing you do the following:

• inhale for a count of 5
• hold for a count of 5
• exhale for a count of 5
• hold for a count of 5
• start again

You can choose to count a different number if you prefer. The key is that you are breathing fully and focusing on keeping it consistent.

2. Diaphragmatic breathing

Diaphragmatic breathing is a type of breathing that changes the source of your breathing. Instead of pulling air in with your nose or mouth, you raise your diaphragm (or abdomen). To exhale, you simply contract your diaphragm again.

Diaphragmatic breathing is useful because it helps you reframe your breath as a function of your body, rather than staying in your head and chest. It also gives the body more power, which is why it is used by singers and in yoga practice.

With a sense of power in your body, you are better able to manage the distressing emotions and feel grounded in yourself.

3. 4-7-8 breathing

4-7-8 breathing is a popular method of breathing that helps with relaxation. It is as simple as it sounds:

• inhale for a count of 4
• hold for a count of 7
• exhale for a count of 8
• start again

Always inhale through your nose. You can exhale through your nose or mouth, depending on what feels more relaxing for you.

Breath work in rehab can be an effective means of self-exploration. But on a simpler level, you can use it as an effective means of calming and grounding yourself when you feel in distress.

The post 3 Types Of Breathing To Ground Yourself When In Distress appeared first on Serenity Malibu.

source https://www.serenitymaliburehab.com/3-types-of-breathing-to-ground-yourself-when-in-distress/

What To Look For In A Sponsor After Alcohol And Drug Rehab

When leaving alcohol and drug rehab, you will be tasked with the responsibility of finding a sponsor. A sponsor will help you maintain your sobriety as you adapt to living in the outside world. To deal effectively with the challenges at hand, it is important to have someone who you can reach out to when you feel like you cannot do it yourself.

But what should you look for in a sponsor after alcohol and drug rehab. This is a person you are entrusting with an incredibly important task. You need to know that they will be the right person when crisis hits.

Everyone needs a sponsor who they can relate to and will click with different types of people. However, a good sponsor generally has the following traits.

They are eager to help

Pop culture has popularized the idea of the reluctant mentor, and this extends into depictions of sponsors on TV and in movies. However, in real life, a sponsor should be someone who wants to be involved in your journey. They should be eager to help, rather than doing so out of a sense of duty or because they have been told to.

This is not necessarily because they will do a better job when push comes to shove, but is more to do with you. You need to feel comfortable calling on them in a crisis, and you will find that hard to do if they don’t seem to want to be involved. You should have a sponsor who you know will be happy to hear from you and eager, even if you need them at a less-than-ideal hour.

They have diverse experiences

Some people want a sponsor who has a similar context to them, whether this is someone of the same gender, sexual orientation, religion, ethnicity, and so on. However, what every sponsor should have in common is a diversity of experience.

No matter how similar your context, you will go through experiences that are unique. You will struggle with thoughts and feelings that are entirely personal. A good sponsor has enough diversity within their own experiences that they can adapt to be there for you no matter what you are going through, even if it is a situation that is entirely your own.

Stability

Having had a certain amount of sober time is important for a sponsor. However, stability is perhaps even more important. Someone may have managed to stay sober for years while always feeling on the verge of relapse. On the other hand, another person may not have been sober as long but have a very strong foundation for their recovery.

This does not mean your sponsor is never going to relapse. That is a possibility for anyone who has battled drug and alcohol addiction. But a good sponsor tends to be confident in their ability to stay clean, as well as their ability to recover even if they do relapse.

No sponsor is going to be perfect, and that is not really what you want from someone you need to be able to relate to. However, that does not mean just anyone can be your sponsor. They are taking on a lot of responsibility, and you need to know you can trust them to be there for you.

The post What To Look For In A Sponsor After Alcohol And Drug Rehab appeared first on Serenity Malibu.

source https://www.serenitymaliburehab.com/what-to-look-for-in-a-sponsor-after-alcohol-and-drug-rehab/

How To Deal With The Anxiety Of Leaving Quarantine

Spending weeks in quarantine was not part of anyone’s plans for 2020. But as stay-at-home orders are lifted, dealing with the anxiety of leaving quarantine might well be something you don’t feel prepared for.

When I got into drug rehab, I wanted to recover and leave as quickly as possible. It was strange to hear so many recovering addicts at the end of their rehab journeys expressing a wish that they could stay a bit longer.

By the time my discharge date arrived, I understood exactly how they felt. Drug rehab was incredibly tough and I missed my regular life. However, the knowledge that I was leaving rehab brought up anxieties about not only my triggers, but getting used to doing things for myself as well.

As quarantine comes to an end, I’m experiencing similar anxieties. I haven’t had to manage many of my triggers in quite a while. And tasks that used to be second nature, like running errands and going grocery shopping, now seem almost overwhelming.

This struggle might be particularly poignant for those of us who have battled addiction and anxiety, but many people are going through it for the first time. The world appears much more difficult to contend when you’ve dealt with such a low level of stimulation for so long.

If you’re worried about dealing with the anxiety of leaving quarantine, here are some tips to help you along the way.

Get help

When you leave drug rehab, you don’t return to complete independence immediately. On the contrary, you start aftercare programs, attend groups and meetings, and see a therapist. There is no reason not to get similar help in today’s scenario.

If you haven’t been seeing a therapist during quarantine, now is a good time to start. It may also be a good idea to start attending support groups and meetings again. Book an appointment with your psychiatrist if you think you might need an adjustment of your anxiety medication.

Keep some quarantine habits

Now that you can leave your home more freely, you might feel like you have to go back to life as normal. The reality is that the world is not yet back to normal, and won’t be for a while. Furthermore, we have learned over the past few months that certain things can be done differently.

You don’t need to go to the grocery store just because you can do so with more freedom now. The extra cash spent on service and delivery costs might well be worth it to avoid a trip that drains time and energy.

If working from home has made your life easier, especially since you don’t have to deal with travel time and other admin, find out whether you can continue working from home some of the time.

COVID-19 is still reason to stay home

Another important factor to take into account is that COVID-19 is not over. If you’re like me, you are not ready to start seeing anyone and everyone again. You are still anxious about your chances of getting the virus. This is not an unreasonable concern, and you should take that into account when saying no to plans.

You might feel guilty about not meeting up with friends and family who don’t take the threat as seriously, but you need to consider both your mental and physical wellbeing. Just like you would be careful about which plans to say yes to after leaving rehab, allow yourself to do the same after quarantine.

Ultimately, the way you approach life after quarantine should not be about anyone but yourself. The anxiety is natural. Get the help you need and take it as slowly as you need to.

The post How To Deal With The Anxiety Of Leaving Quarantine appeared first on Serenity Malibu.

source https://www.serenitymaliburehab.com/how-to-deal-with-the-anxiety-of-leaving-quarantine/

Best Free Addiction Recovery Apps For Mobile

Addiction recovery apps can be an incredible supplement to your recovery journey. Because addiction is a complicated disease, recovery does not end when you leave rehab. On the contrary, rehab is the start of your journey. When you are working through an outpatient program, or are getting back to your regular routine, addiction recovery apps can help you stay sober.

Please note that the following addiction recovery apps are intended as a supplement to a complete treatment program. While they are very helpful to recovering addicts who have left rehab, they are unlikely to help you beat addiction in the first place.

The following are 3 of the best free addiction recovery apps for mobile.

Sober Grid

One of the most important tools for people recovering from addiction is community support. A good community is a significant part of rehab programs, outpatient support, and 12 Step meetings. Sober Grid is an addiction recovery app that provides an extensive virtual community for recovering addicts.

Sober Grid is a kind of social media platform, except it is more similar to chat room apps like Discord than a platform like Facebook or Twitter. On Sober Grid, you can join a number of groups to discuss how you’re feeling. You can get answers to questions which might be nagging you, with advice from peers who have been through or are going through something similar. Simply finding out that you are not alone can be quite helpful and reassuring.

Beyond the community, Sober Grid has tools which prompt you to check in every day with how you are feeling. It gives you space to make a daily pledge for yourself. And every day it provides unique quests that will help you achieve your sobriety goals.

SoberTool

If you want a simple addiction recovery app that tracks your days of sobriety, SoberTool is perfect. SoberTool prompts you with a daily check in. You can track your days of recovery, including any relapses. Not only does it track your recovery itself, but it tracks your moods and feelings as well. This way, it helps you get a better understanding of what incidents and feelings lead to greater urges.

SoberTool gives you motivational messages, along with a search engine for addiction recovery-related questions. There is also a chat function, although it is not as developed as the community provided by Sober Grid. A great additional feature on SoberTool is an activity to help you avoid relapse when triggered, with questions to work through and uplifting messages.

Nomo

Nomo is another simple app that lets you create a number of sober clocks. You can use these to track how long you have been sober, how long a relapse lasts, along with any other habits which threaten your sobriety. It gives you a clear idea of exactly where you are in your journey.

You can share these sober clocks with loved ones, who can then motivate you when you feel at risk of relapse. You can also connect it to your social media in order to share achievements with your network.

Nomo is perfect for anyone who wants an uncomplicated tracker that connects them with their supporters.

All of the above apps are free and allow you to remain completely anonymous. Remember that these apps are supplemental to your recovery and are not a replacement for intensive addiction treatment.

The post Best Free Addiction Recovery Apps For Mobile appeared first on Serenity Malibu.

source https://www.serenitymaliburehab.com/best-free-addiction-recovery-apps-for-mobile/

3 Ways To Make Money With A Criminal Record

I have a criminal record. It took me years to own this fact, but I have never been able to ignore it completely. I’m lucky that it’s just a minor possession charge. During my years of addiction, I did a lot worse than forget to hide the weed in my car, but I never got caught. Many addicts cannot say the same.

It’s no secret that America’s justice system is broken. Most addicts know this, as it is especially evident when it comes to drug use. Drug use is still seen as a moral choice and offenders are punished rather than rehabilitated. Furthermore, while addiction should be seen as a mitigating factor when judging other crimes, it is often used to shine a negative light on the individual.

Of course, we could talk all day about how the justice system discriminates against people on the lines of race and socioeconomic background, but for now I’m going to focus on something that all “offenders” have in common: a criminal record.

A criminal record makes it difficult to find work. Many employers will write applicants off because of their criminal records, regardless of the type of charge. Arrest records can also disadvantage you, even if you were not convicted of anything. It can feel disheartening, as if you’ve been set up to fail. But there are ways to make money regardless of your criminal record.

Here are some possibilities to consider.

Expungement

Before going into the various ways to make money with a criminal record, look into whether you can get your criminal record sealed or expunged. Sealing a criminal record takes it out of public view, but it can still be viewed by court order. Expungement removes all records of arrests or convictions, so that even a court or prosecutor cannot see it.

Sealing and expunging of criminal records is generally possible for minor offenses after a period of time has passed. The Center for American Progress has a helpful guide you can use to determine if you are eligible for sealing or expunging your record.

Skilled labor

Some of the highest paying jobs you can find with a criminal record are those that require skilled labor. These include electrical, plumbing, welding, and carpentry work. Attending a trade school is the ideal way of getting your foot in the door. At a trade school, not only will you learn a skill, but you will also get resources to help you find a job. Trade schools have plenty of experience helping people with criminal records getting jobs after completing a course.

Alternatively, if you have the capital or can get a bank loan, you can start your own business doing skilled handiwork. This way, you have control of your own employment and can set your own rates.

Online freelancing

Online freelancing has become one of the most surefire ways to make money in 2020, even for people without a criminal record. As we have learned this year, the world we live in is not as stable as we thought, and employment at a traditional job can be disrupted by external factors.

If you are able to write, code, design, sing, make music, and more, you can trade your services online. Websites like Upwork and Fiverr provide a platform that connects freelancers and clients. There are also many websites created by successful freelancers who can help you learn to pitch your services without using a platform, allowing you to forego commissions and charge higher rates.

Entrepreneurship

Entrepreneurship is not for everyone. If you urgently need money, starting a business may be far too risky. Furthermore, some personalities are naturally more suited to entrepreneurship, while starting a business is a much more difficult endeavor for others. Also, setting up a business is far easier if you already have a network. Many recovering addicts do not.

However, if you are in a position to start your own business, this can be an incredibly satisfying way of making money. You get to circumvent your criminal record entirely, while working entirely for yourself.

Making money with a criminal record is not easy, but there are options. Ask for help from NGOs and for resources from your rehab center, and you won’t have to go it alone.

The post 3 Ways To Make Money With A Criminal Record appeared first on Serenity Malibu.

source https://www.serenitymaliburehab.com/3-ways-to-make-money-with-a-criminal-record/

How To Maintain Your Identity Outside Of Rehab

Many people leaving rehab face an unexpected challenge. They finally see that the people who always “had their lives together” are far from perfect. Suddenly they are the ones who have the real problems.

This is because in rehab, you spend weeks or months working on your identity. You don’t just deal with your cravings. Rather, you learn to relate to the world in a brand new way. You learn how to appreciate everything in your life, how to face adversity, and how to better manage your relationships. It’s like you have a whole new identity.

Then, when you go back into the world, everyone else relates to you as the person you used to be. They also relate to the world in unhealthy ways, similar to how you did before.

This is a common experience, and occurs in any number of circumstances. It can be particularly poignant for male addicts. Recovering males often return to friend groups in which speaking about feelings and being vulnerable is seen as shameful.

After spending so much time in a safe space where you could explore your true identity, it becomes difficult to actually maintain that identity. You find yourself holding things back, laughing at jokes which are toxic, and relating to people just like you did before rehab.

The worst part is that it’s not just others who act in these ways. When back in these familiar settings, it is all too easy to revert to the person you used to be without really being aware of it.

It’s not a simple matter, but there are ways to maintain your identity outside of rehab. These tips will give you a starting point.

Avoid spending time in groups

When you leave rehab, your friends might be eager to go out with you. They may even plan some alcohol and substance-free activities. Diving right back in is going to be tempting.

However, try and resist the urge to do so. If you can, avoid going straight back into group settings. It is very difficult to maintain your new identity in your old friend groups. You’re going to want to keep everyone happy rather than relate in a real way. Groups rarely provide the space to be vulnerable and open up. They are more likely to close all avenues to do so.

Ideally, meet up with your friends in a one-on-one setting. This way, you can take the exciting risk of opening up about what you’ve gone through. Eventually, when you do start spending time in groups again, your friends will have had a chance to get to know the identity you’ve discovered.

Aim for “good enough”

In rehab, you learn a lot about how to relate to the world and others in a more authentic way. It is exciting and you have never felt more in tune. When you leave rehab, you will want to use the communication techniques you have learned to interact with others.

Unfortunately, it will not often go as smoothly as you imagined. You will find yourself skipping steps and, in some cases, giving answers that are less than honest.

The thing is that real world interactions don’t go as smoothly as when presented on a worksheet or in rehab. Rehab is a kind of vacuum. The outside world is always throwing complications at you, and you simply cannot and should not plan all your interactions.

Rather than trying for perfection, aim for good enough. Did you manage to express yourself better than you would have before rehab? That’s a great start. If not, you can try a less ambitious approach the next time.

Spend time alone

Humans are social beings. These days, it is tempting to always be speaking to someone, whether in person or over phone or text. But socializing can also be a way of avoiding scary thoughts and feelings. It can end up suppressing your identity.

In order to maintain what you have learned in rehab, you are going to have to regularly spend time alone. Spend this time meditating, doing some exercises, or simply being creative. The details are up to you, but make sure you’re not just turning off your mind.

Maintaining your identity outside of rehab is going to be one of the biggest challenges you face. Spend the necessary time working on yourself, even if it means you can’t be as social as you were before rehab.

The post How To Maintain Your Identity Outside Of Rehab appeared first on Serenity Malibu.

source https://www.serenitymaliburehab.com/how-to-maintain-your-identity-outside-of-rehab/

Tips For Managing Cravings When Working From Home

One of the biggest changes to life in 2020 is that tons of people are suddenly working from home. While remote work has long been the norm for millions of freelancers, it is a brand new experience for those of us used to going to an office. For recovering alcoholics and substance users, it can be particularly challenging.

At the office, it is relatively easy to stay away from drugs and alcohol. Not only will colleagues and supervisors notice if you are drunk or high, but you are generally so distracted by your work that cravings don’t bother you. At home, however, staying focused on work is far more difficult. Cravings therefore become more dangerous.

That said, it is definitely possible to stay away from drugs and alcohol while working from home. Here are some tips to get you used to the challenge.

Create physical boundaries

Physical boundaries are incredibly important for recovering addicts working from home. You may not be fortunate to have enough space for a home office. Nonetheless, you can still segment your space effectively.

Instead of seeing your entire apartment as your home office, designate a particular chair at a particular table or desk. Only work from this space. Then, decide which areas of your apartment should be off-limits during the work day. This should include the space in front of the TV, most of your kitchen and, if possible, your bedroom.

It is important to find a balance. You don’t want to feel claustrophobic, so allow yourself to walk around, go outside, and use the kettle to make coffee. But if you can’t physically differentiate between work and leisure time, it is going to be hard to focus on what you should be doing. Cravings may take this opportunity to sneak in.

Structure your day

Just as physical boundaries are important, so are boundaries in time. An unstructured day is dangerous for recovering addicts. One of the side-effects of addiction is generally that one hour blurs into the next, day blurs into night. This further enables addiction, as any time could consequently be the “right” time for a drink or to pop a pill.

When working from home, structure your time as you would in an office. Schedule in a lunch break. Take coffee breaks, as you would at work. And only work during office hours if possible.

Furthermore, you should eat at meal times and make time to walk or exercise.

Use mindfulness strategies

Mindfulness strategies are regularly used in addiction treatment and rehab centers. Mindfulness is one of the most effective ways of managing cravings. Mindfulness works by helping you to see the moment through, rather than simply trying to get through it. It gives you the tools to acknowledge the craving without reacting. When you simply let the craving be, it goes away over time without causing any damage.

Mindfulness is deceptively simple, and it takes a lot of practice and training to get used to. Ideally, you’ll have learned some mindfulness strategies in rehab. If not, mobile apps like Headspace and Calm do a great job at guiding you through different courses.

The post Tips For Managing Cravings When Working From Home appeared first on Serenity Malibu.

source https://www.serenitymaliburehab.com/tips-for-managing-cravings-when-working-from-home/

Is Online Therapy As Good As Being In A Therapist’s Office?

While the country is starting to open up again after an extended period of stay-at-home orders, not everyone is ready to take the risk. For many people recovering from alcoholism and substance use disorder, the situation is particularly dicey. After all, alcohol and drugs can have a severe impact on your physical health. Many chronic illnesses brought about by addiction can put you at high risk for complications from the coronavirus.

Nonetheless, you need to continue with your treatment to stay mentally healthy and avoid relapses. Many support groups and meetings have continued online to great effect. But what about individual therapy?

Individual therapy is incredibly important for your continued recovery. It is where you can share your struggles, vent, and do impactful work on yourself. Your therapist will probably see you online. But is online therapy really a worthy alternative?

There are a number of reasons people are skeptical about online therapy. The main qualm is that your therapist cannot read your body language without you in the room. However, there are also benefits, and many people have found online therapy to be as helpful, if not more so, than traditional therapy.

Let’s take a look at the various factors which determine the impact of online therapy.

Body language

Any good therapist will tell you that they often get more information from your body language than from what you are actively telling them. They can detect when you are misrepresenting something, even if you do not realize it yourself. They notice how your body reacts to certain statements, what makes you retreat into yourself, and what draws you out.

This is probably the most commonly cited problem with online therapy. Even if the therapist can see you, their view is limited. Furthermore, you can see yourself and, consciously or unconsciously, curate what your physical appearance is communicating.

However, contrary to what most therapists have assumed, body language can play an even bigger part in online therapy than it would in an office. The main reason for this is that therapists will regularly check in with what their clients are experiencing physically. You become more aware of how your own body is reacting and have to relay this to your therapist.

Sure, there are things you will miss or even specifically leave out, but even in person you curate your physical reactions to a certain extent. When your physical responses become an active part of the therapy process, there is a whole level of data to delve into.

Another important factor is that you as the client feel more comfortable with certain physical responses. Responses you would repress or block out in person. This is particularly useful when discussing sexuality. Clients who would avoid allowing themselves to experience physical arousal at all costs in person can let go in the safety of their own homes.

The physical distance can make this feel not only more comfortable but safer as well, for both the client and the therapist. Therefore, issues which you might never raise in person can become a crucial part of your therapeutic journey.

This is not to say that online therapy is necessarily better in terms of the physical than in-office therapy. However, each has its pros and cons, and the lack of in-person body language doesn’t have to make therapy worse.

Other issues with online therapy

Body language is not the only difference between online and traditional therapy. It is the most clear-cut factor, but there are other considerations.

Most pressing is the lack of privacy some people worry about when it comes to having therapy at home. This is especially problematic in relationships where abuse is taking place. You might not feel safe enough to share openly even if you are alone in a room. The possibility of someone else hearing your session can paralyze your ability to be vulnerable.

If this is true for you, it may be best to find a way to see your therapist in person, safely. Make sure that their office is sanitized after every session and that hand sanitizer is available. Wear a mask and be careful not to touch your face. Wash your hands thoroughly after the session.

Another more mundane factor is technical issues. People who struggle with technology can have a tough time getting used to video calls. Also, a poor internet connection can make the session choppy. This can be incredibly disruptive and, for some people, unsettling.

Try to ensure that your internet connection is stable before any sessions, and ask for help if you have trouble with the technological admin.

Online therapy is crucial in the time of COVID-19, especially for recovering addicts with compromised immune systems or chronic conditions. It is a somewhat different experience, but it certainly has its benefits, and can be as good as, if not better than, the alternative.

The post Is Online Therapy As Good As Being In A Therapist’s Office? appeared first on Serenity Malibu.

source https://www.serenitymaliburehab.com/is-online-therapy-as-good-as-being-in-a-therapists-office/

Should I Keep My Time In Drug Rehab Secret?

While you’re in alcohol and drug rehab, it is relatively easy to speak about your experience. You are among a group of people who have been through similar things as you. Your addiction is why you are there, after all. But what happens once you leave rehab? Should you keep your time in drug rehab secret?

This is a complex matter that has no simple answer. There are compelling reasons to speak openly about your time in drug rehab. However, there are also practical reasons to keep it secret.

Here are some of the factors you need to consider.

Have you owned your addiction?

Denial is both a symptom and enabler of addiction. People struggling with addiction deny that they have a problem even to themselves. That denial prevents addicts from getting treatment. Even as it becomes obvious to everyone else that you have a problem, you may not see it.

But without accepting that you have a problem, you are unlikely to recover. The steps towards recovery take work and commitment, which no one will undertake if they think they have things under control.

This is one of the problems with keeping your time in drug rehab secret. While you may have conceded that you have a problem in going to rehab in the first place, the instinct to lie about it hints at a difficulty in owning your addiction. Of course, stigma may be the main reason for your secretiveness, but denial to others can lead you back into a state of denial to yourself.

When considering whether or not to tell people about your time in rehab, ask yourself whether you have truly owned your addiction. If you believe you have, ask yourself the real reasons you want to keep it secret. Are these reasons practical?

Who do you want to keep your addiction secret from?

The question of who you want to keep your addiction secret from will be revealing. If you are trying to keep it secret from family and friends, this hints at your difficulty in owning your problem.

While in rehab, you should come to accept your problem without self-judgment, and to find pride in your recovery. Outside of rehab, this becomes more difficult, as your friends and family have not been through the same process as you. However, revealing your problem to them will be a declaration to yourself and to them that you have come to terms with what you have been through.

Keeping your time in drug rehab secret from family and friends can lead to bigger problems down the line. A pattern of secrecy is one of the damaging symptoms of alcohol and drug addiction. The temporary feeling of shame in sharing your experience is a small price to pay for maintaining your recovery.

But what about employers, colleagues, and networks?

What about your career?

Unfortunately, sharing that you have spent time in drug rehab may be damaging for your job or job prospects. America’s working world has not yet accepted on a broad scale that addiction is a disease. Many employers may reconsider hiring someone based on their experience in rehab.

When it comes to your career, keeping your time in rehab secret might be the most practical choice. As long as you are doing so to improve your prospects or keep your job, the secret should not become too toxic. However, if it no longer threatens your career, keeping it secret out of shame can lead to that cycle of denial.

In terms of your career, the line between secrecy for practical purposes and denial is somewhat clear. That line becomes blurred in a romantic setting.

What do you tell your date?

Dating is difficult for recovering addicts. You are going to be meeting new people who you want to impress, in a context that is often facilitated by alcohol. Furthermore, any relationship based on secrecy and lies is bound to become toxic.

On the other hand, telling your date from the get-go that you are a recovering addict may be too much for them to process. It starts the relationship off with a level of intimacy most couples work up to over time.

The reality is that, when you start dating, it may be wise to keep details about your addiction to yourself. If a first date is going particularly well, you might feel like it is the right moment to share this part of your life. Otherwise, filling the person in on one of the first few dates is advised. At this point, you have gotten to know each other better, and if you continue to keep your time in rehab secret, it will only become a toxic elephant in the room.

Keeping your time in rehab secret is not ideal, but it can be necessary for practical reasons. Assess each case in context, while trying to be as open and honest as possible.

The post Should I Keep My Time In Drug Rehab Secret? appeared first on Serenity Malibu.

source https://www.serenitymaliburehab.com/should-i-keep-my-time-in-drug-rehab-secret/

How Mindfulness Can Give You Perspective In Recovery

“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference” – the Serenity Prayer

In the Serenity Prayer, we ask for the wisdom to know the difference between what we can and cannot change. Without that wisdom, we can get stuck trying to “fix” things we need to accept or accepting things about ourselves that really can be changed. The question many recovering addicts ask themselves is how they can achieve this sense of wisdom.

It is a tough question for addicts to answer, considering that we have made decisions that led to terrible consequences. Can we really learn to trust our instincts over what we can and cannot change?

One of the most popular strategies in treatment of addiction and mental illness today is mindfulness. However, without a proper understanding of mindfulness, you are probably wondering how sitting in meditation can help give you perspective.

But mindfulness really is the key to implementing the lessons in the Serenity Prayer. Here is how mindfulness can give you the perspective you need in recovery.

The attitude of Non-Judgment

Jon Kabat-Zinn, the father of Western mindfulness practice, speaks about 9 attitudes of mindfulness. One of the most important is that of Non-Judgment.

Non-judgment requires you to put aside your ideas of “good” and “bad.” Usually, we think or feel something and immediately assign a value judgment to it. We feel happy, and consider it good. We feel guilty, and consider ourselves bad. Mindfulness tells us to try to reserve judgment.

Judgment and reactivity

If you are trying to be a better person, non-judgment may seem counterintuitive. Don’t you need to know good from bad to make the right decisions? However, the automatic judgments we make do not make us better. They only make us more reactive.

Think about the following scenario. You meet someone you have hurt in the past while under the influence of substances and you feel guilty. This guilt leads you to think that you have been a bad person. You immediately try to make up for what you did in the past.

Chances are you forget about the present and begin to obsess about what you did. Instead of finding a way forward together with the person or letting the past go, you over-apologize, buy gifts, make promises you can’t keep. You are not actually helping the person. Rather, you are trying to get rid of the bad feeling of guilt, along with the sense that you are bad.

Non-reactivity

Only by being non-judgmental can you see things for how they are. In our example, you would feel your guilt and acknowledge that it relates to something you did. You acknowledge to yourself that you hurt the person. You even acknowledge the internal instinct towards self-loathing and self-punishment.

Then you see what your instincts are telling you to do. Instead of simply reacting, you take an objective look at how you would react and what that would do in the situation. Would it change anything for the better? Is there actually anything you can do to make the situation better?

This is where you begin to generate “the wisdom to know the difference.”

Wisdom

The mindfulness attitude of non-judgment is one of the most significant aspects of wisdom. While it is tempting to think that our automatic judgments of good and bad indicate our moral rightness, it is actually the opposite. Those automatic judgments are simply reactions based on instinct.

Mindfulness tells us not to take those judgments too seriously. You can’t suddenly stop yourself from having judgments, but you can acknowledge them and let them go. This will give you the space to become wise, seeing reality for what it is, not what you want it to be.

As addicts, we get used to making judgments about ourselves and the world around us. By letting these judgments go, we are not letting our moral compass lapse. On the contrary, we are allowing ourselves to put our flawed worldview aside and decide what needs to be done.

The post How Mindfulness Can Give You Perspective In Recovery appeared first on Serenity Malibu.

source https://www.serenitymaliburehab.com/how-mindfulness-can-give-you-perspective-in-recovery/

Am I A Statistic? How To Deal With Addiction As An Individual

Something very disconcerting has been happening over the last couple of months in the midst of COVID-19. Instead of speaking about people, everyone has begun talking in numbers. Politicians, health experts, and the everyday person all have opinions which weigh up the numbers of dead. Some insist we must do everything to limit the number of dead. Others argue that economic collapse will cause more deaths than the virus.

The reason this disturbs me so much is this: for the individuals who make up those dead, the numbers don’t matter. If I die, the amount of people who died at the same time does not factor into my personal experience. In other words, when speaking about these numbers, we’re making flippant assumptions about deep philosophical and existential considerations.

I’m not going to discuss whether there is a “correct” way to speak about the numbers of infected and dead. But this has brought up something that used to bother me tremendously when recovering from addiction. Did I have control or was I just a statistic?

The addiction numbers game

The National Institute on Drug Abuse reports that 40% to 60% of people with substance use disorder relapse at some point after treatment. This number used to terrify me. I was determined to get clean and stay clean. I had committed to never use substances again. I had made promises to family, friends, and myself. But so had each individual who made up that 40% to 60%.

The numbers proved to me something I’d had no intention of accepting. I did not have control. No matter how hard I tried, I might end up becoming part of that number, even if treatment had worked.

Turns out, this discovery was not a bad thing. In fact, without it, my recovery would have almost certainly been cut short.

Acceptance and control

A crucial aspect of recovery from substance use disorders is the relinquishing of the control we think we have. As addicts, we thrive on denial. We see the world and ourselves as we want to, rather than as they are. We continually insist that we have control, even when it is clear to everyone else that we do not.

When I entered recovery, I had not relinquished my supposed control. Yes, I had accepted that I had a problem and that I had no control right now, but I intended to wrestle back that control in rehab.

Every recovering addict can relate to the terror of starting at day 1. Once you have made it one day sober, you still have the rest of your life ahead of you. The thought of having to survive until you die sounds like no life at all. And this is exactly the reason giving up control now and in the future is crucial.

One of the mantras of the 12 Step Program is that we do it “just for today.” This is an assertion that all we have is the present. Whatever happens tomorrow cannot retrospectively change what happens today.

Relapse

Relapse happens. The numbers reflect that reality. As an addict, you have to accept that you may well be among those numbers at some point in the future. And you have to accept that it does not matter right now. Yes, you will do everything you can to augment your recovery. But if you do eventually relapse, you can only deal with that reality at the time.

The current crisis has had me thinking about numbers and statistics a lot. These numbers are just one indication that we do not have control. No matter what we do, we may end up a part of them. However, as recovering addicts, acknowledging this reality is what gives us hope. Only when we stop obsessing about what we cannot change can we find peace in what is happening right now.

The post Am I A Statistic? How To Deal With Addiction As An Individual appeared first on Serenity Malibu.

source https://www.serenitymaliburehab.com/am-i-a-statistic-how-to-deal-with-addiction-as-an-individual/